When the Pieces of Our Lives Begin to Fit Together...

does this mean that I'm about to die?????

When I wrote my first book about the family’s part in recovery using the 12-Steps and Ignatius of Loyola’s spiritual exercises, I couldn’t see how my lifelong dream of writing about working in my husband’s equine veterinary clinic could ever be achieved.

How could I ever switch gears like that? Everyone knew me as the lady who talked about the family’s place in recovery or the lady who paralleled the 12-steps and Ignatian Spirituality. But the truth of the matter is that I am both.

The first time that I went to the Keeneland Library in Lexington Kentucky to do research for a book that I am currently working on, it was freezing cold. Rain, mixed with snow and gray skies enveloped my car. For the three hour drive, I questioned my decision to go.

Was the weather a sign? Was I insane to think that I could undertake such a big project? I prayed the entire drive to be able to see both the road ahead and God’s will for me moving forward.

When I arrived at the Library, I felt like a fraud. Who was I to show up with such a big crazy idea of writing about my life as ‘the vet’s wife’ and a famous racehorse that I followed?

Once inside, I could not have been more welcomed. They brought me all the materials that I needed and allowed me to copy anything I wanted. I was given their cards with the promise of helping me find anything that I needed moving forward.

Feeling buoyed by their reception, I drove over to the sales pavilion to watch a few horses sell. I found a place near the back, pulled out my notebook and took notes on the room, the people, the sales process and of course the horses.

After a while, a man sitting down the row from me came over and sat next to me to tell me that in his retirement, his wife gave him the gift of letting him buy a racehorse. Then he asked why I was there. I told him that I wanted to write about my life in an equine veterinary clinic. I didn’t tell him about the racehorse. That dream still seemed too big. Then he asked if I had any published books.

I’ve dreamed of being a writer my entire life. You’d think that if someone asks about my book, I’d be delighted. But the topic of my first book is one that sometimes throws people off guard. Because addiction is still a stigmatized subject, you just never know what kind of response you will get. I took in a deep breath while offering a silent prayer…

“I write about the family’s part of recovery using the 12-steps and Ignatian Spirituality.” I said. The man did a double-take. I thought, here we go. But then, he reached a hand over to pat mine. “My son is in recovery and next weekend, I’m going to an Ignatian guided retreat.”

Mike drop—God

I’m currently in Florida at my husband’s continuing education meeting. This year the opening session featured Father Richard Lesser as the keynote speaker. I usually use Matt’s meeting time to crank out a lot of writing. But he thought that I should go to hear Dr./Father Lesser speak.

I’m so glad that I did. At the beginning of his talk, he shared the path that took him from equine veterinarian and father of three to diocesan priest. That is when he said something that opened my eyes. He realized that with the change of vocation, he really wasn’t doing anything all that different than before.

“Service is service.” He said. “Healers are healers, no matter if it is for horses or hearts.” He went on to tell the audience that he was not here on stage because he was the best practitioner. He was there because his story is a work in progress. He was there to remind these equine practitioners to have a life in the middle of their profession.

His talk made me laughed and brought me to tears. His words were profound. They were so impactful that I will share the nuggets of his talk with you in a future post. But for me, his talk was a conformation that the pull that I feel to write about such a wildly different topic in an area that I often question my ability to write isn’t so random.

God in his mercy keeps offering little pieces of the puzzle—little conformations that I am doing what I am supposed to do. That I just need to do the work. Service is service. Whether it be to families in recovery or people who love their animals. God is in all of these things. He is giving me everything that I need as I need it.